Let me preface this by saying, this is not a whine fest. In reality it’s my attempt at comedy, using real life example from my past, in the hopes that other Christian guys and girls for that matter can relate to.
5. “I think that you’re a really great “friend!””
So I know at every point someone that you like has put you in the “friend zone.” The black hole of social confusion. I don’t get it. Every successful couple when asked, “What’s the secret to your relationship?” Somewhere on their list is “we’re each others’ best friend.” The killer part is once in the zone, there’s no escape. To be honest I feel it’s a fall back plan for when a girl gets to know you and then realizes that an easy way to remove herself is by dubbing the relationship as friends only. I have a friend who believes that no guy and girl can be friends without one of them having stronger feelings. As much as I hate to agree with zed friend, it’s true, and 8 times out of 10 it’s the guy who feelings are accentuated.
4. “Why can’t I find a single Christian guy?”
SCENE: GUY IN CHAIR WRITING THIS BLOG ENTRY STRAIGHTENS UP IN HIS SEAT, CLEARS HIS THROAT AND WRITES…
I’m right here!
It’s frustrating to say the least when a girl comes up to you and asks where all the single Christian guys are, knowing perfectly well that she’s addressing one. Albeit these guy-girl interactions are rare, because most girls don’t divulge feelings like that to guys unless they’re in the “friend zone” (see entry #5). In my experience with this one liner happened with a girl who of course was the girl I had my eye on.
3. “Oh, I thought this was just hanging out one on one.”
So FYI if a Christian guy asks a Christian girl to hang out one-on-one: for a cup of coffee, to go see a movie, to come over and bake banana bread or even to go to church (be careful with the church one, it’s the one exception where pleading ignorance is OK), it’s more likely than not that the guy is interested in getting to know you for a potential relationship.
Now two things are either happening here. 1. The girl knows what’s happening and when the guy asks if she’d like to go out on a date, she pretends this request came out of nowhere and she needs time to think, when in reality she knew all along and just established for herself that she’s not interested or 2. She doesn’t know the protocol for a one-on-ones and in which case might actually need some time.
But for Heaven’s sake girls please don’t say yes to a guy and then text him the next day and say I wasn’t sure what you were asking yesterday, but I’m not interested (true story). It takes a lot for me or any Christian guy for that matter to gather the courage to ask a girl out, especially if he’s been praying on it for a while, so for common courtesy, just say, “It was nice to get to know you, but I’m just not interested.” Direct and honest, that’s all I ask for.
Guys, wait five minutes for them to leave and then run home and cry.
2. “That wasn’t a sign; I was just loving on you as a sister in Christ.”
I’m going to start this one by asking some basic questions…
-If a girl casually strokes your arm, is that loving on me like a sister in Christ?
-If a girl says after having a conversation with you that she has something to dream about now, is that loving on me like a sister in Christ?
-If a girl says that the only reason that she’ll go the conference is because I’ll be there (forget the idea of getting closer to God), is that loving on me like a sister in Christ?
If the answer to all these questions is yes, then please ignore the rest of this. That to me is the hardest thing about hanging out with member of the opposite sex within the body of Christ. Christian girls are always nice to you. Even if they can’t stand you, they put up that façade that appears as if she treasure the fact that you’re a part of her life. Whereas non-Christian girls, if they don’t like you, they let you know quick. There are more signs for non-Christian guys that there’s a green light on the situation.
And then when a Christian guy acts on what he takes for a sign, she simply can say that “I was loving on you like Christ would.” Now I have a great relationship with Jesus, but I hope when I reach the pearly gates that he doesn’t casually strokes my arm as he welcomes me in.
My point is that Christian girls have a wider berth for establishing whether or not she likes a guy, she can get away with more because of that loving nature of Christianhood. Double standard?.. I think so.
1. “You’re such a strong Christian guy, I’m just not physically attracted to you.”
I’m going to keep this one simple. Come up with another reason. Any one of the previous four would be better. And not that I’m saying physical attractiveness isn’t important, but it shouldn’t be the upfront reason.